


Where You Are

by ank03130313



Series: Where You Are [Johnten] [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Canon Compliant, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten & Suh Youngho | Johnny Are Best Friends, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten is Whipped, Cuddling & Snuggling, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Romance, Suh Youngho | Johnny is Whipped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:14:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29297970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ank03130313/pseuds/ank03130313
Summary: Just John & Ten being in love, that's it
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Series: Where You Are [Johnten] [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2173626
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Where You Are

_12 november 2020, Seoul._

"So ?"  
"Hm?"  
"Are you staying or not after all?"  
"Huh?"  
"You sign for another five years?" , suddenly, he stopped in his motion, put his cup of coffee on the table, with his mouth slightly open, pretending to be surprised. You see, it's always been like that between us. He always struggle to tell the truth, yet he's not a liar, or rather he's a liar who really wants and actively tries to be honest. But he can't. And if he can't, it's because he's kind. He's genuinely kind, and he also knows the truth hurts. This is how Ten thinks. When we met, I really had a hard time accepting it, that no one was right. So that's why our relationship always had this weird thing, because I rather be hurt by the truth than by a lie. He knows it, that's not the problem. He knows it but yet he still can't tell me the hurting truths, even after all these years. I understood soon enough that I wouldn't change him, so here's how we handle it : I tell the truth for him. That evening, we were alone in a room of this hotel that we liked, it was a ritual since we were not working together anymore. Sometimes we needed to meet just the two of us. And over time this hotel room had ended up being more of a home than our own home. Tonight, however, the room was freezing cold, and the silence was deafening.  
«No. » , he finally said, in a guilty whisper. His hair he hadn't cut in a while were falling over his glasses, all wrapped up in this sweatshirt that hadn't been mine for years, that sight seemed out of time. I smiled, thinking it looked like we were getting divorced. It was sort of true, right ? « I'm sorry. » , now he looked like he was more and more on the verge of tears after each spoken word. Of course he was sorry, we had promised to stay together forever. We said that to each other at seventeen, and during all these years we kept promising each other the same thing with different words than those of our youth, mixed with worry and anger when we discovered that the dream we were promised to was not the one we were given. In these nightmares, he was my way out, no matter where he was.  
«Why ? » , the accusatory tone that I had just used was not intended to hurt him, it's a little weird, but that's how Ten gets to tell the truth. And sometimes there are things that I can't, that I shouldn't say for him. He was about to cry, but he choked back his sob before the tears fell. His eyes were shining behind the glass, his lips quivering between his teeth didn't seem to be able to find the words.  
«I'm sorry. » , he repeated. «It won't change anything, I swear, John. » , lie , I thought, then I smiled.  
«They know ? »  
«Not yet. »  
«It's gonna be the big surprise then.»  
«John... »  
«Don't be scared, I'll be with you. » , he didn't got it at first, he looked at me, his eyes lost somewhere else. «Earth is calling Ten. »  
«Huh... you.. ? »  
«Yeah. » , I simply said. «Don't you dare. » , I warned before he even says anything. I knew what he was thinking, and I knew what he was about to say. «I think about it since last year, it has nothing to do with you. » , it was a lie, a lie that I was mostly telling to myself, but still a lie. « Ten ? Are you gonna stand here forever ? » , he emerged from his apathy and walked towards the bed we were sharing, then he sat down next to me, his back slightly turned. «Ten. Don't feel guilty.»  
«I … I don't. »  
«Then why are you crying ? »  
« I'm not crying. »  
«Oh please, cut the crap. »  
«It's just... I... I do want it. I really want it. I want you to come with me. And I just know it's so fucking selfish of me to just think that you should follow me. » , this is one of Ten's specialties : repeating what I'm saying with other words, carefully avoiding the one he's scared of.  
«But I want to follow you. »  
«Do you ? » , more than anything.  
«I do. » , he held his breath for a few seconds, he was staring at me, studying my face. Then he finally dropped onto the bed next to me and let out a long sigh.  
«It's gonna be a mess. » , he said as I slowly removed his glasses.  
«It will be a fucking mess, but who cares ? »  
«Not me. » , he admitted, almost guilty. For my part, I wasn't feeling guilty, although I maybe should have. I wasn't the most popular of the group, but him ... he was... He was popular. And we both knew it very well, we were going to leave a raging fire in both of our wake. I was getting headache just thinking about it. If we could have just stayed hidden in this hotel room forever, that would have been nice, but that wasn't possible. 

But, I do believe that there are certain times in life where you have to save yourself before thinking about saving others, it was one of those times. 25 years old and still frozen like a marble statue, in the same place in time, unable to move. It had been more than enough, we had to break the chains that were holding us back. There is always a moment when you break your chains no matter what they are. Ours were so tightly locked up around us that it took a fire, an earthquake, to tear them apart. It's a very special feeling, the pre-storm. Hurricanes that we see coming because we caused them, we were there, side by side, him snuggling against my shoulder and holding the sleeve of my sweater, and me just staring out of the window, watching the sky getting darker and darker. And each of his breaths crashing into the back of my neck reminded me why I was doing what I was doing. Every word spoken, every breath, every tear I had shed, every second that had brought me to this hotel room.  
«John ? » , he whispered in the dark.  
«Yeah ? » , he hesitated. For a few seconds, he didn't answer, then he took a little breath.  
«I wanna see your hometown one day. » , I laughed in my pillow, sure Ten. Sure.  
«You saw my hometown already. »  
«With you, dumbass. »  
«I'll take you there. » , I promised, as I lowered a little bit to face him under the covers.  
«Where will we go ? »  
«Hm... that restaurant I was going with my friends, for sure. I want to show you that place. There's this old cafe too, I don't know if it's still open though. »  
«The restaurant in front of your high school ? »  
«Yeah, this one. » , for a moment, we stayed silent. That kind of silence that comes when you're with someone you can understand without any word. I pictured us walking down that old street that was leading to my high school, and me showing him all my favorite hiding spots.  
«Yeah... take me there. » , he whispered into the crook of my neck.  
«You won't miss your home ? » , I said, joking. I felt him smiling against my skin.  
«Home is where you are. » , _home is where you are_ , I repeated in my head. I think ... I think that's the moment I knew. I always knew, somehow, I would end up by his side. I just didn't know how it would happen, because technically it couldn't happen. It wasn't suppose to happen. I was supposed to find a wife and have kids, and make my parents proud or whoever is watching me. I knew he was my only way out, everytime, since the very first day. The only shoulder I lean on, the only one I really trust. I guess it's something you just know when it happens to you. 

Quietly huddled together, we were lying there, patiently waiting for the storm to destroy this town.

**Author's Note:**

> I might try to write about the after-storm too,,


End file.
